I "m at home on a Barge in a "Dodge" or Garage
So they say! Where you go I'll go that way!!
I sure know where I belong...head and shoulders above the throng!!
So were your own "specks" and fix your gage on Marvelous Me...your affectionate
You know you're a dog person when...
You have more dog
beds, chew toys, collars, leashes, harnesses, and dog crates than you have dogs.
You meet other people with dogs, and
remember their dog's call name after 30 seconds, but don't get the
owner/handler's name until you've met them 2 or 3 times.
You don't think twice about trading licks of an
ice cream cone with your dog. Your parents
give up on grandchildren and start to refer to your dogs as "your kids" or your
children." (Bonus: they start to call them "our granddogs.") 90 percent of your
Internet connection time goes to the dogs (seeing what's new when you enter your
breed into the browser, reading up on multiple lists, checking out photos,
sounds and FAQs, etc.). You have hundreds of
pictures of your dogs on your desk at work, in your wallet, etc., but none of
your family or yourself. No one wants to ride in your car because they know
they'll get dog hair on their clothes. You
reach into your pockets for change, and liver treats, dog kibble, and pick-up
bags fall all over. (Bonus: You've done this in a classy establishment.)
You've had long meaningful discussions with
your friends on the best way to trim your dog's nails, but have never had a
manicure or pedicure in your lifetime. Books
and movies are ruined for you if the dog references are incorrect.
The highlight of your day is spending time with
your dog. You watch simply awful movies
because your breed is either featured in a cameo scene or there's a 3-second
camera shot during a crowd scene. All of
your clothes have dog hair on them, even when they come back from the Laundromat
or dry cleaners. The only thing your
friends, colleagues, and passing acquaintances say to you when they see you is,
"How are the dogs?" or "How many dogs do you have now?"
Your photo Christmas cards feature your dogs (humans optional)
"A dog's concept of
learn stuff like...
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face
to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt
pout, run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
And MOST of all...
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by
and nuzzle them gently.